Is your mattress helping you sleep better, or could it secretly be the reason you’re waking up tired, stiff, or sore?
Choosing the right mattress can feel like walking into a maze. There are endless choices, strange jargon, and mixed opinions. One person swears by ultra-soft. Another insists you need something firm for proper support. Then there’s the confusing middle ground — often called “medium-firm” — which somehow claims to suit everyone.
So how do you actually choose?
What Do “Soft,” “Medium,” and “Firm” Actually Mean?
These labels can be misleading because there’s no standardised scale across manufacturers. A “firm” from one brand might feel medium-firm to someone used to a harder surface. Still, there are general characteristics most people associate with each category. Click to see more options and compare how each one measures up.
Soft Mattresses
These usually have thick comfort layers made from materials that contour to your body. That deep sink-in feeling? That’s a soft mattress doing its thing. They’re designed to cushion joints and reduce pressure points.
Best for:
- Side sleepers who need relief at the hips and shoulders
- People who like the sensation of being “hugged” by their bed
- Lightweight sleepers who don’t sink as deeply into the mattress
Downside: Too much softness can cause your spine to dip, especially if you sleep on your back or front. This might lead to discomfort over time.
Medium-Firm Mattresses
Often marketed as the “universal comfort” option, medium-firm mattresses aim to balance support with softness. They don’t let you sink too deeply but still provide enough give for pressure relief.
Best for:
- Couples with different sleeping preferences
- Back sleepers who want spinal alignment with a touch of softness
- Combination sleepers who move around during the night
Downside: They try to please everyone, but might not satisfy those who know they need very specific support or cushioning.
Firm Mattresses
Firm mattresses are designed to keep your body lifted. They have thinner comfort layers and more supportive cores. You won’t sink in, but you will feel stable.
Best for:
- Stomach sleepers who need to keep their hips from dipping
- Heavier individuals who require extra support
- People with lower back pain that worsens on softer beds
Downside: Too firm and it can feel uncomfortable, especially for side sleepers. There’s less pressure relief at the shoulders and hips.
Your Sleep Position Matters More Than You Think
The way you sleep plays a big role in the kind of mattress that works best for your body. If you’re not sure where you land, think about your natural go-to position when you fall asleep or wake up.
- Side sleepers usually need something softer to allow for shoulder and hip cushioning.
- Back sleepers benefit from medium to firm options that keep the spine in a neutral position.
- Stomach sleepers almost always need a firmer surface to avoid lower back strain.
- Combination sleepers (who shift positions) should look for a mattress that balances comfort and support without restricting movement.
Body Type Also Plays a Role
Your weight and build affect how a mattress feels beneath you. A heavier person will naturally sink more into a soft mattress, which can throw off alignment. Someone lighter might not sink enough on a firmer bed, making it feel harder than intended.
Here’s a rough guide to consider:
- Light sleepers (under 65kg)– May prefer soft to medium-firm mattresses.
- Average weight (65–100kg)– Medium-firm tends to work best for most.
- Heavier sleepers (over 100kg)– Firmer mattresses usually provide better support and longevity.
What About Mattress Materials?
While the focus here is feel and firmness, materials still make a difference to comfort and durability. Here’s a quick overview of common types:
– Memory foam – Known for its contouring and pressure relief. Tends to be softer.
– Latex – Naturally resilient, supportive, and slightly bouncy. Usually firmer than memory foam.
– Hybrid – Combines coils with foam or latex. Offers a balance between contouring and support.
– Innerspring – Coil-based with less contouring. Often firmer and more responsive.
These can each come in varying firmness levels, so it’s not about picking a type — it’s about finding the right feel within that material.
Signs You’re Sleeping on the Wrong Mattress
Still not sure where you land? Listen to your body. If your mattress isn’t right for you, there will be clues.
- Waking up with back, neck, or hip pain
- Tossing and turning all night
- Feeling sore or stiff in the morning
- Not feeling supported, especially in your lower back
- Noticing a dip or sag in your mattress
It’s not always about age, either. A mattress can wear unevenly, or it might never have been the right firmness to begin with.
Quick Checklist: How to Decide What You Need
This list can help you narrow things down without getting overwhelmed:
Do you sleep on your side? Go softer or medium.
Do you sleep on your back or front? Aim for medium-firm to firm.
Do you share a bed with someone who has different needs? Medium-firm is the safest middle ground.
Are you heavier or do you tend to sleep hot? Firmer, more breathable options tend to work best.
Are you often waking up uncomfortable or tired? That’s a sign your current mattress is working against you.
When “Medium” Isn’t the Safe Choice
A lot of people assume that choosing something in the middle will work out fine. But here’s the truth — going medium-firm just because it seems neutral can backfire.
If you’re a side sleeper and you go too firm, you might end up with joint pain. If you’re a stomach sleeper and go too soft, your back might suffer. The goal isn’t compromise. It’s fit.
Start with how you sleep, factor in your weight and preferences, and work from there. A good mattress should feel right almost immediately — no “breaking in” required.
Not All Comfort is Created Equal
One final note worth mentioning: don’t confuse softness with comfort. A very soft mattress can feel plush at first, but if it doesn’t support your spine, you’ll feel the effects quickly. Likewise, a firm mattress isn’t automatically uncomfortable. It can feel solid but still allow pressure relief in the right places if it’s built well.
Sometimes comfort comes from good support, not just cushioning.
Rest Easy Knowing What Works for You
The right mattress isn’t the softest, firmest, or most expensive one. It’s the one that supports your body properly, suits your sleeping style, and helps you feel refreshed every morning.
Forget the idea that one mattress fits all. You spend nearly a third of your life sleeping — it’s worth finding the one that’s right for you.
When you know what to look for, you’re already halfway to better sleep.
